Make it stop

Six months ago I was glued to youtube. Anytime there was a debate I didn't want to miss a second (yes, I suffered through all of the democratic debates. Although I did enjoy when Tim Russet had to tell Gov. Richardson he wasn't dealing with funny money). I hung on every word (well, at least when Ron Paul was talking). My political engine was fueled and revving in the red zone. Yet, this week when a co-worker asked if I would be watching the debates I cringed...When will it end!
By now, I, and probably you too, am sick of hearing how the bitter poor are clinging to Hillary. And the elite snobs are avoiding the sniper fire by placing their audacity in Obama.
I used to look forward to reading the Op-Ed columns in the NY Times. Now I shutter at having to read what Hillary did to destroy her chances or why everyone loves/is sick of Obama.
Something needs to be done. First, I was going to submit a bill to congress putting an moratorium on all presidential election reporting until August 1, but then I remembered I'm not a democrat. So to avoid being a hypocrite I have come up with another plan. Instead of changing the government, I will change the world. I hereby declare the beginning of the Badical Sabbatical. Yes, that is right, a sabbatical from any presidential election jibber jabber until August 1, 2008. Seeing how this blog is basically the trend center for the internet and web 2.0, I think it will only be a matter of a few weeks until the NY Times follows suite. My fellow bloggians of the world UNITE! be badical, join the sabbatical.

Solving the Vagabond mystery

My good friend Bryant has me all figured out.

Who cares about the poor?

President Bush released his tax information today and the Clintons released theirs earlier in the week. Hillary after finding out she is in the top 1% of tax payers said she was "surprised", but also, she didn't want the Bush tax cuts and she didn't need them. Regardless if she wanted them or not she got them. As a result she and the president had a little extra pocket change. So how did they use all of the extra cash? Well they didn't release how each nickel and dime was spent, but they did release how much they gave to charity. Now over the past 8 years the Clinton's have made an average of $13.6 million a year. They have also given approximately $1.25 million to charity each of those years. Now Bush made just over $920,000 this last year, and gave $165,000.
So clearly the Clintons are giving more, but if you look at the percentage of their income donated Bush gives almost double what the Clintons do (17.9% compared to 9.15%). Perhaps Milton Friedman was right when he said you can tell more about a person by what they do with their own money than you can by what they do with the money of others.

UPDATE: Obama just released his tax info and he took the cake. He gave about 5.7% of his income to charity last year.

ANOTHER UPDATE: McCain released his tax info today. He decided to give the cake away, donating over 27% in 2007.

ANOTHER UPDATE PART II: Biden, the true egalitarian gave between .09% and .31%

Shamu comes to Austin

At the beginning of April I made a goal to cut sweets out of my diet. Initially this seemed like an easy task. All the money I could save by not purchasing sweets, could mean I would save a grundle. I quickly have come to realize the problem isn't the sweets I am buying, but the ones being thrown at me. In the past 10 days I have been offered cookies, cakes, brownies, soda, twinkles, banana bread, and muffins. An average of 2 times a day I get offered sweets, now I wish I could say I turned them all down, but as Paul says "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak". So it is time we all started helping each other out. Stop taking treats to work. You may think your doing all your co-workers a favor, but your not. So unless you're trying to make your office look like sea world I suggest you start saving money, and all of your friends and co-workers waist lines. Next time someone ask you to bring treats for an activity tell them you'll do one better, and bring nothing.

Don't feed the bears....or the bikers

Wednesday morning while heading over to meet a friend for my morning run, I realized my Camry was in the red zone (not like in the old spice commercials, but on the thermostat. For the record my car doesn't make out with other cars.) and smoking out of the hood. So sadly I took another trip down south to visit my friend Gary Krutsinger. Now I've planned on riding my bike to work for sometime now, but I never had enough motivation to do it. But seeing how my car was spending some quality time with Gary, I figured now was as good of time as any.
Thursday was the first day I rode a bike to work since I was hit riding my bike to work at the Cottonwood Country Club. It really took me back to those good old days of riding to work in the dark while the sane Americans are still sound asleep, and then riding home while those same Americans curse at me and throw garbage from their cars. Yes, there is nothing quite like riding a bike. There is something about it that makes me feel alive, perhaps it is because driving a car makes me feel like a robot. But, it has become apparent that many of you robots driving cars don't know how to act around cyclist. In an attempt to help smooth your future interactions with this rare breed of lunatics we call bikers, here are a few tips.
1. Approach with caution. Most cyclist are just as afraid of you as you are of them.
2. Do not pet the cyclist (by pet I mean punch). Perhaps it looks like they would enjoy a friendly smack as you drive by going 50 mph, but, turns out, not the case.
3. Do not attempt to feed the cyclist. A common mistake for robots to make is to confuse cyclist for environmentalist. And although environmentalist enjoy eating garbage to help the enviroment, cyclist do not. So when driving past a cyclist please avoid the temptation to toss your garbage at them, but instead save it for the next time you are having lunch with the Sierra Club.

By following these three simple steps robots in cars and loonies on cycles can finally learn to coexist. And who knows perhaps we can even save the starving members of the Sierra Club.

Free your X

Last week a few of my friends were sitting around chatting when one mentioned he had seen a "chump" hitting on his x-girlfriend. From this encounter he had decided the perpetrator was a schmuck, and then informed the rest of us in the room "in case you didn't know [His x-girlfriend] is off limits". I have bumped into this circumstance quite a bit here in Texas and, I have to say, I HATE IT! Listen, memo to all jerkfaces who think they have some type of control over who dates their past girlfriends...unless a girl has a ring on her finger she is anything but off limits.
In this blog I have mentioned Milton Friedman approximately 187 times. The reason I can't stop talking about him is he chose the perfect title for the perfect book. Free to Chose! From the moment I heard the title I knew I would love the book...and I did. Because he was expressing our God given right. That we are free to chose; good, bad, smart, stupid, or outright insane. So who are you to think you can take away that right from your girlfriend? Hillary Clinton?
Obviously if you have split up, then either you or your former significant other decided the two of you would be happier with someone else. So why deprive any of your friends their happiness. It's like Sting says "If you love someone, set them free".

Don't worry I wasn't going to use my savings anyways

In a past post I mentioned that I spend $2 a day funding the Iraq war. My brother called me on it, so I checked. Actually the first 4 years of the war cost me much less than $1 a day, but last year it was over $2. Now it is up to everyone to decide if they think that money was well spent or not. But for those of us who would like to reduce the amount of money we spend on bombs, toilet seats, bridges to nowhere, and Spitzer's late night rendezvous there was a way to cut it down. It was one of the happiest days of my life when I realized there was a way to not pay taxes...I could stash away money in a 401K! I could pretend like I am a popper without the government stealing all of my cash. Sadly Greg Mankiw pointed out to me today that money might not be as safe as I thought. Turns out that Barack doesn't put any of his money in a 401K, which can only mean one of two things. He likes paying taxes, or he has reason to believe taxes are going to be significantly higher after he retires. So not only will I never see the $4,000 I pay to social security each year. But, also the 10% of my wages I put in my 401K. At least I will have the satisfaction of knowing my hard earned money will be put to good use. And who knows maybe they will let me use that fancy toilet.

Jumping Jigga Watts Batman...It's Josiah!

Josiah Schaddelee (right) is a student at the University of Texas were he is preparing to become a firefighter and save the world (or at least a few kittens that are stuck in trees). He gained fame when he was one of only three capital wardians who didn't turn into a little girl during the month of December. I caught up with him to ask about some of his goals and his recent conversion.

What brought you to Austin?
The University of Texas at Austin and my automobile.

What is your favorite thing about living in Austin?
Well, I don’t like Texas that much. I don’t like suburbia. Austin is very non-suburbia, it has green belt, Frisbee golf, Zilker,. The nature of Austin it just isn’t all buildings and concrete there is a lot of wildlife to it.

How has your life changed since joining the church?
Well, I kind of like don’t cavort and party, I still party, but I don’t inebriate myself. I don’t do engaging activities on Sunday anymore.

What was the hardest thing about joining the church?
Definitely the steel rail that gashed the top of my head.

Describe the perfect day?
It would start with me waking up. Upon which I would eat some breakfast and splash water in my face. And then I would do all sorts of fun things. Everyone would do fun things with me. And pretty much fun things would happen all day. And when everyone is too exhausted to do fun things, we all sit back and eat some brown sugar and maple oatmeal, and then hit the sack.

What are three things you are passionate about?
Food, music, J.C. (Jesus Christ)

I’m just very passionate about food because certain foods revolt me, and I can’t be in the presence of it. Like salt and vinegar potato chips, and mayonnaise, I am venumently opposed to McDonalds griddle cakes.
I enjoy and I listen to a lot of music. I have made my rounds and I can distinguish good and bad music. Really bad music can put me in a really bad mood, so I try to be passionate about listening to something that is pleasant, relatively speaking.
I’m not always passionate about JC, but it is increasingly where I want my priorities to lie. And that is where ultimate rewards come from so it makes sense that is where I should be focused.

What things are you looking for in an ideal candidate?
They would have to be increasing adaptive, they would have to be able to serve the people, and poses the discernment to know when the people are making foolish decisions. They would have to be exceptionally good at helping the population, realize what the right course of action is and why it is being implemented. They would also have to be firm and steadfast in consistently doing the right thing. And they would have to be capable of not only leading the country, but serving to help the country as well. And they would have to be completely green

Getting back to my Roots

Yesterday my dad started a blog where he is going to tell stories about growing up in Pocatello Idaho. His first post is mostly about how my Grandpa ended up there. I never knew people had such a negative opinion about war crime judges. But what impressed me is that my Grandpa didn't listen when the government told him he wouldn't be able to make it on his own. He said it was better to try. My Dad often did the same thing, by turning down government funding while he was at school. They both had the Audacity of Hope. They actually believed they would make it even if the government didn't put them in the wheel chair and pushed them along.
Compare that to Barack Obama's idea of hope. He thinks we can make it on our own...if we eliminate foreign competition, if we pay off anyones mortgage who can't afford to pay themselves, and if we pay for your health insurance. You might make it, but we will put in every fail safe possible (because lets face it, your not going to make it). Yes, he is uniting the masses. Where people all over are standing together and saying "YES I CAN...count on the government to take care of me from cradle to grave". Yes, finally we have a politician that can help us reach our full potential of dependancy and usher in a new age, the age of hopelessness.

5 years...and a whole lot of money.

So we have reached the 5 year anniversary of the Iraq war. To date it has cost Americans 500 billion dollars. I did a little simple math and that means that every man women and child has paid $1,646.45 give or take a bit. That means we pay about $329 a year. But of course not all of the children are really pulling their weight (and believe me I have seen some fat kids) we are actually each paying a bit more. So if you spread the cost out among everyone who filed income taxes then the amount increases. If you are one of the approximately 134 million who did file their taxes you paid $3721 or $744 dollars each year. Which means if you are like me than you are actually paying more than $2 every day to Iraq.
When I lived in South Salt Lake Casey Fitts justified rasising taxes by 116% by saying "It is just a candy bar every day". Yes, my parents now get to "donate" a candy bar every day so that a women with far less education, experience, and mental capacity can make more than double the average salary of the city while sitting at a desk playing solitaire. Now for $2 you can get more than a candy bar, you can get a hamburger at my work cafeteria. So in honor of the 5 year anniversary and Casey Fitts stupidity, I skipped lunch thinking instead those two bucks are going to Iraq so we can blow up more bridges. I can't help but think some where in Iraq there is a kid wishing I would have eaten the hamburger.

3^3

In honor of my 27th birthday I decided to write my birthday wishes in this post similar to how Greg Mankiw did on his 50th (although I don't think the Times will publish mine). Initially I planned on writing about how I wish my money was still worth something, and that we would get inflation under control. I also had the wish that presidential candidates would actually listen to their economic advisers. And about 10 other economic related issues. But Wednesday my younger brother Andrew entered the MTC to prepare for his mission in Peru.
While speaking to him I started to realize how trivial some of the issues I spend all day arguing about really are. Now don't get me wrong, I haven't taken anything off of my wish list. And I will continue to harass Bernanke and all of the presidential candidates. But I decided this year if I could only get one of my wishes to come true it would be to become a missionary.
As I was talking to Andrew and giving him advice I started to have flashbacks to my days in Bayern. It seems all I have left from those days are a few journal entries and a par of photos. All of the important lessons learned have been all but forgotten. I remembered thinking what I wanted to become while I was out there, and looking at where I have arrived it is apparent I took a few wrong turns. So this year I am going to be looking for that lost path I should have headed down long ago. And who knows, maybe I will get a chance to give the FED a piece of my mind while I'm looking.

My brother needs a house!

For the past few months my older brother Gardner has been searching the Salt Lake area for a new house. Now my brother recently received his Masters degree in Economics, so he isn't exactly raking in the Benjamin's. And prices in Salt Lake haven't plummeted as they have in other parts of the country. But there have been a few foreclosures. So every time I hear about the number of foreclosures skyrocketing I give out an evil cackle (waaahahaha). And every time I hear some *eggnog head politician saying we need to help people so they don't foreclose I am getting ready to paint my face and head out with the local mob (to join your own local mob simply grab a torch and pitch fork then proceed to the town square screaming gibberish). I mean really no one ever thinks about the even poorer people who can't even afford a house. As people foreclose home prices are falling and that means for many Americans they will finally be able to buy the house they have always wanted. If we really wanted to help the poor we would let the housing crisis do it's thing, and we would lock up those crazy chowder heads into the darkest dungeon (at least I think that is what mobs do). I thought I was alone in this idea, until Steven Landsburg came to the rescue and backed me up.

*eggnog head or chowder brain is a term often used to describe our current president, or any other loon without any economic sense.

We need more criminals!

So today I got a great chuckle when I was listening to a story on NPR that was discussing the sad state of affairs in Camp Gabriels. Camp Gabriels is a prison which due to the low number of inmates is getting shut down. This comes after the NY Times did a story on how 1% of Americans are in prison. This is a huge burden on everyone. So when we hear a prison is shutting down you think the masses would be jumping for joy. But no, not in upstate New York. Were they are lamenting the loss of the 180 jobs, they think we should wait to close the prison. The mayor of the town explained the logic in waiting: "If we wait the economy will continue to grow thanks to the jobs created by the prison, and we will build new homes...homes that will soon be filled with criminals". I am just waiting for Obama to pick up this story....just think we can boost the economy by importing criminals!

Giving them Hope while preying on their Fears

Obama's message of hope is sounding more dismal to me every day. But the real question I have is how is he going to be such a great diplomat by cutting off trade with all of our friends? Apparently I'm not the only one who thinks Obamanomics are not only scary, but it is old fashion fear mongering.
Update: Thomas Sowell says what the real problem with the rust belt is. Without playing at peoples fears or pandering for votes.

Close the Door

Now as the name of this blog implies I am always looking for ways to maximize my utility. So while reading the Times this morning I found one thing that was preventing me from do just that. So I have decided to start closing the door on a few of my options.