Don't feed the bears....or the bikers

Wednesday morning while heading over to meet a friend for my morning run, I realized my Camry was in the red zone (not like in the old spice commercials, but on the thermostat. For the record my car doesn't make out with other cars.) and smoking out of the hood. So sadly I took another trip down south to visit my friend Gary Krutsinger. Now I've planned on riding my bike to work for sometime now, but I never had enough motivation to do it. But seeing how my car was spending some quality time with Gary, I figured now was as good of time as any.
Thursday was the first day I rode a bike to work since I was hit riding my bike to work at the Cottonwood Country Club. It really took me back to those good old days of riding to work in the dark while the sane Americans are still sound asleep, and then riding home while those same Americans curse at me and throw garbage from their cars. Yes, there is nothing quite like riding a bike. There is something about it that makes me feel alive, perhaps it is because driving a car makes me feel like a robot. But, it has become apparent that many of you robots driving cars don't know how to act around cyclist. In an attempt to help smooth your future interactions with this rare breed of lunatics we call bikers, here are a few tips.
1. Approach with caution. Most cyclist are just as afraid of you as you are of them.
2. Do not pet the cyclist (by pet I mean punch). Perhaps it looks like they would enjoy a friendly smack as you drive by going 50 mph, but, turns out, not the case.
3. Do not attempt to feed the cyclist. A common mistake for robots to make is to confuse cyclist for environmentalist. And although environmentalist enjoy eating garbage to help the enviroment, cyclist do not. So when driving past a cyclist please avoid the temptation to toss your garbage at them, but instead save it for the next time you are having lunch with the Sierra Club.

By following these three simple steps robots in cars and loonies on cycles can finally learn to coexist. And who knows perhaps we can even save the starving members of the Sierra Club.